I thought about getting a VPN for the better part of 2 years, I just didn’t have time to wade through the bazillion companies. Quite a few VPN companies have spotty reputations, and I’ll be honest, I’m not bursting with confidence over the integrity of the industry in general. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting it to be smooth. Call it the accumulated wisdom of life.
Still, I rolled the dice, and finally, on Monday, I signed up for an ExpressVPN account. I signed up, paid, watched the charge hit my bank statement, and within minutes, I was downloading the software.
I used it a bit to verify that everything was working, then went on about my week. I felt good about my choice.
“Well, I stand corrected”, I thought, "this company seems pretty professional. And here I was being all cynical.”.
It feels good when things succeed.
Anyway, Monday turns into Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday, and finally it’s FRI-day, FRI-DAY, gotta get down on FRI-DAY, come on, everybody now …. fun, fun, fun, fun … you know how it goes.
I digress.
Friday rolls around, I fire up the VPN and …. ahhhh, yes, now THIS was more in line with my expectations.
ACCOUNT SUSPENDED
We couldn’t verify your billing information, so we’ve canceled your payment.
To reactivate your subscription, please email [email protected], subject line: Billing Verification.
The Billing Team will respond within 24-48 hours."
Sweet!, right before the weekend, and it’ll be up to 48 hours before anyone gets back to me. Woot! I was really hoping that I’d get a VPN that went down without notice for 2 days, and it looks like I lucked out!
Even though this was espected, a tyipically barrage of obvious questions popped into my head:
-
How did the charge go through to begin with? The bank certainly had no trouble taking the money from me. Isn’t verification supposed to happen at the point of sale?
-
Shouldn’t I be having this problem elsewhere? I’m not saying that online transactions are smooth everywhere else, but the card and billing info has never been a problem. Again, if the billing info was bad, how was the charge approved, and how was the money taken from me? I’ve had the card for well over a decade. I used it twice today at points-of-sale without issue.
-
Why didn’t I get an email? I don’t find out about this until I use the product (hint: this is obviously when I’m trying to accomplish something with it), and then, in this very insulting way.
-
This would work really well during bandwidth crunches. During usage spikes, give yourself a 48 hour reprieve by “not being able to verify” billing info. Not saying that happened, I’m just saying.
-
Suspend first, ask questions later? Really? Over $12? You couldn’t, you know, make a good-faith effort to … I dunno … contact me first and see if I could solve your issue before 86’ing the account right before the weekend? I would have worked with you, no problem.
Oh no, perish the though! That’s crazy talk! I’m just a customer. An insigificant piece of the online commerce puzzle. Why on earth would someone waste tme contacting me?
So there you have it. The totality of my experience with ExpressVPN.
Out $12 with nothing to show for it. Now that’s the online commerce I know and love.
Here’s wishing better luck to the rest of you.